Swinger Myths

Swingers have little outside social activity other than swinging.

Again, it is patently false, since most swingers have children, and they have many social activities that they do as a family. What the researchers fail to understand is that swinging is not just about sex, and they assume that whenever swingers get together, it is purely sexual. Swingers do make friends with each other, and they do get together in non-sexual situations. The friendships you can make are so intense that many people tend to spend less time with their old "straight" friends, preferring to do social activities with their swinging friends. There is an openness, sense of fun, and lack of need to censor yourself when you are with swinging friends that is very different from what most people experience with traditional friendships. These are real friendships, not just based on sex.
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Put The "X" In Sex

If the mere thought of renting a porno feels smutty, then it's definitely time to pick one up. From the spine-tingling moment you venture into the adult section of the video store to the second you surprise your guy with a skin flick and wait breathlessly for his randy response, taking the plunge into porn will add fiery fervor to your real-life bump and grinds. Like catching an eyeful of your randy neighbors mid-nooky, observing overheated couples and their this-close thrusting onscreen feels totally taboo.
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Hot Sex Positions

Erotic instructions: Get your man to lie on his back, then lower yourself onto his lap with your legs perpendicular to his pelvis and guide his penis inside you. Place your hands behind you for support and move up and down his shaft (carefully, so you don't bend it and possibly hurt him), as he steadies you under your legs.

Pleasure payoff for you: The pose lets you thrust deep, then pull back so that just the tip of his penis is inside you. It's a great move if your guy's on the small side or if you crave a tighter fit.

Pleasure payoff for him: Every inch of your V will move up and down along his member & making him feel like he's penetrating you for the first time with each new thrust. And with your legs close together, you'll feel really snug around his penis.
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Phone Sex Fantasy

"Interacting via technology rather than face-to-face provides an anonymity that often makes it easier for partners to express their desires," explains Lisa B. Schwartz, Ph.D., a sex therapist in private practice in Pennsylvania. "More couples seem to be exploring this freedom and sharing fantasies this way."

If the thought of partaking in phone play leaves you kind of speechless, this passion plan will loosen you up. First thing in the morning, lock your guy in for the evening with a firm text message. (Cancel your plans. U R mine 2nite.) At noon, divulge more of your pleasure plot in a second text (My place. 8. Bring a necktie and whipped cream).

When he shows up at 7:25 (the man will be eager, girl), grab the props, make him comfortable on the sofa and quickly retreat to another room. Then dial him up on his cell from behind closed doors and tell him step-by-step exactly what you wish you were doing to him ("I want to tie you to my bedpost and lick whipped cream off every last inch of you"). Keep up the delicious banter until he has no choice but to hang up and barge right in.

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Living Out Your Fantasies- Part 4

Dominate her/submit to her.... Whether you want to take control or be controlled, sometimes a little S&M can turn a vanilla experience into something out of this world. Of course, you don't need to drape yourself in leather and put a ball in your mouth, but the option is there if you like. Having one person leading and giving orders and the other following and obeying their "master" can definitely ignite sparks within that you may not have known existed. It is in this sexual mode that you can reveal your fetishes, within reason, and give in to your secret desires. Although most women opt to submit because they're not sure what to do as doms, sometimes handing her the whip will unleash a great goddess. Give it a shot.
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Living Out Your Fantasies- Part 3

Take her to a strip joint.... When you suggest the idea of heading out to a nudie bar, chances are she may be somewhat hesitant, thinking that all you want to do is look at other women. But once you make it clear that what you really want to see is her looking at other women, she may suddenly have a different point of view. First, when you get there, let her take it all in and get used to the atmosphere. If she starts getting extremely excited by what's going on, get her a lap dance. Watch as she studies this naked woman dancing in front of her. Yum.
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Living Out Your Fantasies- Part 2

Make your own home movie... Making a movie, one that involves no clothes and plenty of lube, will make you and your woman feel like practiced porn stars. Of course, there doesn't have to be any facials or anal action involved; this is a private scene for two, and you'll be the director, producer and star. Set up your camera so that it's angled to capture your sexual antics and make sure that you leave the mic on so that every moan and groan can be captured as well.
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Living Out Your Fantasies

Go to a sex club.... I know what you're thinking; this involves other people, dummy. Well, yes, but that doesn't mean any of them are going to touch, lick, suck, or screw you. But if you have voyeuristic or exhibitionistic tendencies, then here's your opportunity to set your fetishes free.

Dressed in easy-access clothing, head out to a nightclub that's exclusively open to horny couples and single women, and dance, grind and gyrate the night away. Some clubs allow couples to get nasty; others don't, so you'll have to figure out how far you and your woman can go.

The point is that you're both realizing a fantasy in which you can make love, so to speak, and watch others while they watch you.
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Bisexuality and Swingers

In 1984, a research study published some fascinating research on female bisexuality within the swing community. Summarizing:

The prevalence of sexual activity between females in the swing community is extraordinarily high.

It assembled (apparently without difficulty) a sample of 50 women for her study, all of whom had their first experience with female-female sex in the swing community after age 30, and none of whom even fantasized about women before these first experiences.

The study found that ``the generally positive reactions of these subjects to their first sexual experience with other females after a lifetime of strict heterosexuality ... progressed through repeated experience to an overwhelming general rating of excellent,'' that the ``percentage of those whose masturbatory fantasies at times included other females as erotic sex objects rose from 4.5% to 61%,'' and that every one of the women in her study now self-identified as bisexual.

This suggests the swing community might be a stunning example of the impact ``social facilitation'' can have on adult sexual behavior, preference, and identity.
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Weeding Out Fakes- Part 3

The ad sounds like a porn ad -- If it sounds too good to be true, it probably isn't.

Pictures are too perfect -- Pictures look like they have been taken off a porn site.

Ads are too short -- That doesn't mean that people aren't real. It just means that they didn't put enough thought or effort into their ad and may not be serious about getting responses.

Perfect profile with pictures of a couple -- Be aware if the husband says he has permission from the wife to play alone or the wife is on vacation in Amsterdam and won't be back until 2007.
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Weeding Out Fakes- Part 2

Things that should raise a question of doubt when checking profiles:

No picture on the profile -- If there is no picture on the profile, ask them to email you one -- if they are not willing to do that, just move on.

Refusal to answer simple questions -- They respond with nothing but demands and offer nothing in return.

A low reply percentage rate -- Anything below 60 % could be an indication that you are not dealing with a serious swinger.

No recommendations -- No one knows them or has played with them because they either don't exit or they never play. They are time wasters.
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Weeding Out Fakes

Swinger sites are a great place to meet other swingers. Unfortunately, there are fakes on all these sites. Before meeting someone from the internet in person, some helpful steps might be a telephone conversation or seeing them live on a web cam. Telephone conversations are an excellent way of gauging a couple's character and personality. If the couple contacts you first, they shouldn't have a problem giving you a phone number if you ask nicely. Ask them what is the best time to call and speak to both of them. Be cautious if the wife is never around. It could be a single guy or even a married guy, just trying to get lucky. Live web cams are another excellent means of verifying that you are dealing with a real people. Web cams are very inexpensive, easy to install and can save you a lot of time.
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Enhancing Your Orgasms

Researchers have found that women who masturbate have more intense orgasms than women who don't. Once you can make yourself climax, it will be easier for you to guide your partner to do the same. "Plus, masturbation increases the flow of blood to the genitals," Kerner says, "and this overall vascularity is important in sexual response." Translation: When your blood is flowing, you'll soon be glowing!
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The Big O

Here's a tip to make yours and his orgasms more intense, plus help each of you last longer before exploding. He has to be aware of what you're going to do. Before either of you orgasm, stop intercourse or touching yourselves directly and switch gears. You might pull away and give each other a massage for a few minutes. Then you can resume. Keep bringing yourselves close to orgasm, building to that peak, so that by the time you do finally climax, your orgasms will be all the more explosive.
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Pearl Play

Wear a long strand of pearls knotted around your neck -- almost every man finds pearls supersexy. Seductively untie and remove them. Gently run the pearls over your man's entire body. Start with his head and face and work your way down to his toes, but avoid his penis, saving it for last. When you finally get there, wrap the pearls around his penis and sort of roll the individual pearls around and press them on his skin. This unique-feeling stimulation is a major turn-on.
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