If the woman you're with is uncomfortable trying toys for the first time, a vibrator is an excellent choice because she can enjoy considerable stimulation without any penetration. Also most vibrators have more than one speed, so if a higher level is too high for her, perhaps a slower one will be perfect.
If you find the noise a vibrator makes to be distracting, you can wrap the handle in a towel or blanket. As long as it is outside of the body. Be sure not to immerse a vibrator in water, and to always use lubrication to insert anything into any opening in the body.
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